The Application

It has already happened a couple of times this week. During a telephone conversation I mentioned offhandedly that I tweet and immediately on the other end her tone changed in a manner that suggested that I admitted to wearing mascara, which is to say she disapproved. A couple of days later, in a fit of boredom, I resurrected an ongoing argument with a friend about the merits of social networking websites – me pro, him con. He refuses to join them because he stubbornly states that he already has all the friends he needs, when I point out the ‘networking’ part of the title, he just digs his heels further. Over the course of both scenarios I emerged as the champion of internet based pseudo communication, and while I am not sure if that is entirely accurate I did have an epiphany. A way of looking at social phenomenon as a whole and then certain things fall into place and make sense, like the time I was watching Hunt for Red October when Marko Rameus offers his fellow conspirators more tea and I figured out that he was actually threatening their lives.(I was really proud of myself for putting that together.)

What I was able to pull away from these encounters with those whom apparently hold contempt such things is that there is a new dichotomy forming where internet based communication is concerned. I have noticed two distinct kinds of chic have formed all around me, each with their own prototypical spokesperson. On one side of the battlements you have the plugged in, tech savvy neo-wonk that silently judge everyone from behind their horn rimmed glasses and over the tops of their netbooks. Maybe you see them at a coffee shop, and you took to long to decide on chai and now Morpheus there is blogging about you and you can only take solace in the fact that only six people read it. The other side is represented by the street wise, no nonsense, Doubting Thomases who can’t be bothered with such trivialities and view tweeting as something practiced by songbirds. This person is most defiantly not one of the aforementioned six.

I have to admit that I am somewhat torn on the issue. I mean, I have taken to blogging for therapeutic reasons, and I tweet because it simultaneously updates my myspace and facebook profiles. But at the same time I can see how some of this can be viewed as inconsequential techno-glitter and little more than chum for dorks. Posting, responding, and then reposting a status update does not count as a conversation, they are the written equivalent of sound bites. And nothing inflames my inner Dennis Leary quite like hearing about some relationship breaking down via text message, where I come from you just don’t dump people with your thumbs.

I can see where they are coming from, they are deathly afraid of jumping on a bandwagon that goes nowhere. I remember a time in collage when I would loudly denounce (and still do) pro wrestling, calling it dinner theater for the retarded. I would then go on to predict that the WWE will have a short and shameful life. Now, everytime I turn on the television I have John Cena’s name projected at me as though I should know or care what the hell he is or does. But the opposite is also true. I have seen it a million times, the next big awesome life expanding product comes along and all the nerds walk around with tech-chubbys as they try to fit, cram, or otherwise force this new thing into all facets of life. Meanwhile a vast majority of these new technologies goes to the happy hunting grounds like so much betamax. Do you remember DAT (digital audio tapes)? The two hundred people that bough Actung Baby in that format do.

The difference, as I have found it, is that there seems to be a rift between technology used for entertainment and that used to talk to one another, even if that communication uses bastardized English. Farmville aside, facebook is primarily a communication tool. I could show you this if it weren’t for facebook. Twitter allows me to get a little nothing off of my chest and maybe start a sound bite conversation with someone. I am just as wary of anyone of the possible dangers posited by worthless trends, but I have never seen a form of communication that is considered a fad. The only thing we have to watch out for is the abuse of this new tool. I quote a friend of mine when I say “I will always be right back, laugh out loud, and talk to you later. I will never brb, lol, or ttyl.”

Funny, the erstwhile conversation that let me down the thought processes that lands me as the defender of grammar started with the accusation that I it’s most hated enemy.